When tennis ace Serena Williams became a mother, she was frank and open about the ups, downs, and nuances of her journey. In the early months of motherhood, she experienced emotional overwhelm, crying spells, guilt, and mental health challenges, capturing the reality of transition. Balancing elite sports and being a mom, she acknowledged the physical and psychological tolls. In a revealing moment, Serena spoke about playing a Grand Slam match the morning after rushing her daughter to the ER. She has often voiced that it is alright to struggle and that perfection is unattainable. Alongside, she has also spoken about reframing her ideals of beauty since, while sharing candid moments about the pressures of looking a certain way.
What Serena was essentially going through was Matrescence, an under-recognised phase of a woman’s life. The term Matrescence was coined by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1973 to describe the process of becoming a mother. Says psychologist and counsellor Dr Manjula MK, ‘Unlike menarche or menopause, we do not offer women any support or even acknowledgement of the changes they go through during motherhood. While it's not a clinical diagnosis, it’s increasingly acknowledged in mental health circles as a critical adjustment period, similar in depth to adolescence. Matrescence encompasses more than just biological changes. It also encapsulates biological, neurological, psychological, social, and cultural transformations. These can unfold over months and sometimes, even years. For this reason, it is often termed a biopsychosocial metamorphosis.’
Hormonal And Brain Changes
Pregnancy and early motherhood trigger some of the most dramatic physiological shifts in adult life. Recent neuroscience research finds structural and functional brain changes during pregnancy, such as grey matter alterations that persist long after childbirth. Says Dr Manjula, ‘Estrogen and progesterone surge during pregnancy, sometimes over 100 times the usual levels, and then plummet post birth, inducing mood swings, fatigue, and hot flashes. Oxytocin or the ‘bonding hormone’, peaks sharply in the early postpartum period, reinforcing maternal bonding. Prolactin, essential for milk production, also influences caregiving behaviours, promoting nurturing instincts.’
Physical Toll And Recovery
Every mother’s postpartum body goes through numerous changes. Some of the well-documented challenges are mood swings, headaches, fatigue, hot flashes, abdominal soreness, C-section incision pain, and bladder control difficulties. However, there are other physical issues to consider such as pelvic floor weakness, changes in body composition, sleep deprivation, and challenges with breastfeeding and nursing.
Emotional And Psychological Shifts
Matrescence is often marked by huge emotional upheavals. The ‘baby blues’ are actually a real thing! This is a mix of sadness, anxiety and mood swings that affect many new mothers in the days immediately after birth. Clinical estimates suggest that one in every five women experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), although the actual prevalence may be closer to one in three. Data shows that women with children experience more frequent extreme emotional lows than other demographic groups. However, despite these challenges, many also report psychological growth, gaining self-awareness, reshaped values, and emotional resilience.
Identity And Relationships
Matrescence often spurs an identity shift. There’s a whole new person consuming your life, which now largely revolves around their needs. Dr Manjula explains, ‘This can bring grief and confusion, but also growth. Relationships with spouses, family, friendships and colleagues start changing, sometimes subtly and sometimes drastically. Many mothers feel isolated, especially if they lack a strong support system. Social media compounds the issue, contributing to unrealistic portrayals of ideal motherhood and leading to feelings of inadequacy.’
How To Address Matrescence
‘When we name it, we can navigate it.’, says Dr Alexandra Sacks, reproductive psychiatrist. The fact is, matrescence remains poorly recognised and has to be made a part of the normal developmental stage of women. Here’s how we can address it, according to Dr Manjula:
1. Advocate for the education and normalisation of emotional changes during early motherhood.
2. There is a need for better maternal healthcare, including mental health screenings and postpartum support for mothers, not just for newborns.
3. Counselling should be destigmatised, and mothers should be encouraged to practice self-compassion and realistic expectations. While it may be aspirational to bounce back and embrace the new phase, not everyone gets there in a hurry.
4. It takes a village, not just to raise a child, but to support a mother. On their part, mothers can seek community support, developing peer networks and seeking out other mom groups. Family can also be a great support system.
5. Reassess your success and productivity. Your priorities and value systems before kids may no longer serve you. Replace these with new ones such as building emotional connection and getting plenty of rest.
6. Adjust expectations about time, which becomes increasingly scarce. You may mourn your former pace, but instead of aiming for long blocks of time, use ‘micro moments’. Ten or fifteen minutes of meditation, a cup of coffee, or journalling can help.
7. Matrescence is normal. But postpartum depression or anxiety is not something you should ride out. Talk to your provider if you notice persistent sadness or rage, loss of interest in things you usually enjoy, intrusive or scary thoughts.
8. There are books that can help you, such as ‘What No One Tells You’ by Dr Alexandra Sacks and Dr Catherine Birndorf and ‘The Fourth Trimester’ by Kimberly Ann Johnson.