Motherhood Is Not A Bed Of Roses

Human mom, dog mom, cat mom, plant mom, mom to your nieces and nephews, the designated mom of the friends’ circle, office gang mom, dad mom—maternal instincts kick in for some of us at certain phases and places. It’s how most women are wired. In some cases, men can also feel and experience maternal instincts.

This month we will focus on that near-perfect love we feel for the object of our maternal affection. But I would also like to talk of something we rarely touch upon when it comes to motherhood. The soul-crushing depression also known as postpartum trauma that some of us experience.

As some doctors are trained, they often pooh-pooh that anxiety new moms get as ‘baby blues’ or a trivial assurance that if you sleep when the child sleeps, you will be good as new tomorrow. The hormonal imbalance post birth affects almost 60 per cent of new mothers. It could begin prior to giving birth and can often last up to three or more years post birth. A persistent, debilitating condition it causes a woman to see-saw between extremes of sadness, anxiety crying bouts, social withdrawal, inadequate appetite.

Oh and since we are women, we allow such negative feelings to guilt-trip us too. Because that is a bonus emotion women are lucky enough to have been gifted with. “When I have a beautiful cherub to love and cherish, how could I feel this intense anger/irritation/anxiety?” So when a Brooke Shields writes a book on postpartum depression or an Alia Bhatt addresses her emotional spiral in an interview, it mainstreams conversations on motherhood not being a bed of roses. It is not.

The answer to this lies in seeking help. Finding the right therapist and ensuring you are prioritizing yourself. Because like we always say at Her Circle, put yourself first!