July 2022 FOCUS: Freedom
“Don’t wear this, don’t say this, don’t watch this, and definitely don’t do this.”
The three symbolic simians of the father of our nation had more autonomy than women of our country do. Mention freedom and the quotable quote is: Freedom is choice. But is it?
It’s privilege speaking when we say freedom is choice. For many young women that choice is not theirs to make. Either via physical/verbal control or through conditioning, young girls are expected to toe the line drawn by parents/family/society/peers. It’s not easy even for the ones who seem like they are in control.
I remember a brilliant school-topper who had stated in a public debate that she aspired to be the CEO of a multinational. I moved schools and next I met her was when we were in college and she told me that marrying early while she was finishing her graduation was a choice she was making, and that it was a love marriage where she would mostly be allowed to work. The love marriage was really a semi-arranged one where the parents had her introduced to the boy and had then been liberal enough for them to meet over a period of a year. She never got around to working or even finishing her studies because she had a child within a year of tying the knot, and another and yet another. I met her after almost two decades at a meet-up and she said in all honesty that it was not her choice to give up on her dreams; that years of therapy has helped her acknowledge this truth.
Look around you. Our conditioning makes us believe that sacrificing what we want for ourselves is really a choice. Let’s call it out for our own selves at least.
My belief is that as we age, we grow not by learning but by unlearning. Because to grow up is to learn but to mature is to unlearn. Seek your freedom without encumbrances and maybe you will find it one day.