Parenting practices are changing dramatically, with parents abandoning severe, authoritarian patterns in favour of more cooperative, child-centered, and emotionally sensitive approaches. There is an increased focus on open communication, appreciating and fostering a child's uniqueness, and prioritising their mental and emotional health.
Clinical Psychologist Mehezabin Dordi shares her inputs on how parents can use and implement self-awareness and emotional healing to break negative generational habits.
Time To Retire Old School Parenting Strategies
Parenting strategies that relied on physical punishment, shaming, or authoritarian control were shaped by different cultural norms and a less child-centred understanding of development. At the time, there was little awareness of the long-term neuropsychological impact of fear-based discipline. Decades of research including studies on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) now show that harsh discipline increases risks for anxiety disorders, depression, impaired self-esteem, and difficulties in forming secure relationships later in life. These methods activate the child’s stress response system, releasing cortisol, which, when chronically elevated, can interfere with brain regions such as the hippocampus (memory) and prefrontal cortex (decision-making and impulse control). Today’s children also inhabit a more cognitively and socially complex environment. They are exposed to diverse ideas and rapid technological change, making critical thinking, emotional regulation, and adaptive problem-solving far more important than unquestioning obedience. This is why older ‘command and control’ parenting is less effective. It does not equip children with the internal skills to navigate a fast-changing world.
The world in which today's kids are growing up is completely different. There is information everywhere, they understand the concept of independence much sooner. From each screen they hold, influence permeates. We have never been as observant, as articulate, or as acute as Gen Z and their successors.
Disciplining With Empathy
Empathy-based discipline aligns closely with authoritative parenting, which research consistently links to the most positive child outcomes like better academic achievement, higher self-esteem, lower rates of delinquency, and greater emotional competence. When a parent validates a child’s feelings before enforcing a limit, (‘I understand you’re frustrated because you want more screen time, but it’s time to stop now’), they engage the child’s prefrontal cortex, helping them practise self-regulation rather than acting from their amygdala-driven fight-or-flight response. This approach strengthens secure attachment or the psychological bond that makes children more likely to trust, confide in, and cooperate with their parents. It also supports the development of intrinsic motivation. Children begin to follow rules because they understand their purpose, not because they fear punishment.
The Role Of Technology
Technology presents unique neurodevelopmental considerations. Screen-based activities, especially those designed with variable reward systems such as social media and gaming, activate the brain’s dopaminergic reward pathways, which can reinforce overuse. From a developmental standpoint, children’s executive functions (impulse control, planning, attention regulation) are still maturing well into their mid-20s. This means self-regulating screen time is inherently challenging without external scaffolding from parents.
Healthy digital parenting involves:
Co-regulation: Guiding and modelling healthy habits rather than expecting full self-control.
Boundary Setting: Tech-free times and zones to protect sleep, social connection, and focus.
Critical Thinking Coaching: Helping children evaluate online content and resist misinformation.
When balanced correctly, technology can support cognitive growth, creativity, and global awareness. When unchecked, it can displace essential offline experiences for healthy social and emotional development.
From Hierarchy To Collaboration: Advice For Parents
The shift from strictly hierarchical parenting to more collaborative models shows that children are more engaged and cooperative when their psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness are met. Collaboration doesn’t mean giving up parental authority; it means creating an environment where rules are explained, input is welcomed, and problem-solving is shared. This approach enhances metacognitive skills — children learn how to think about their decisions, not just what to do.
Practical Applications:
• Provide consistent boundaries, with reasoning tailored to the child’s developmental stage.
• Model emotional regulation and respectful conflict resolution, since children learn most from observation.
• Adapt as your child grows; flexibility is a hallmark of effective parenting.
The most robust protective factor in child development is a secure, responsive, and consistent relationship with at least one caregiver. In an age of high academic pressure, digital overload, and social comparison, this relational security acts as a psychological anchor, buffering stress and promoting resilience. Parents do not need to be flawless but they need to be attuned, predictable, and willing to repair ruptures in the relationship as and when they occur. Science is clear: it is this emotional safety net, more than any single rule or technique, that children carry into adulthood.