Ever since Brooklyn Beckham tied the knot with Nicola Peltz, the Gen Z celebrity couple has been sparking pregnancy rumours. Although the duo has remained tight-lipped about their future plans, Beckham has spoken on Instagram about his desire to be a father. "I promise to be the best husband and the best daddy one day,” he mentioned in a post announcing his nuptials.
The first set of Gen Z-ers is slowly getting married and looking forward to embracing parenthood. Born during or after 1995 until around 2012, this is an entirely digital generation that has grown up with the internet, lived with social media as part of their childhood, and discovered OTT platforms as adolescents. The world shrunk and cultural boundaries began to blur as they entered adulthood.
Millennials, on the other hand, are an analog-meets-digital generation, who are often on a diet of nostalgia. They’re the last generation with the desire for financial and familial ‘stability’ in its conventional sense. It is predominantly these shifts that also impact their parenting styles.
Harini Kurien-Sharma, a 24-year-old product designer from Kochi is mother to an eight-month-old son. “As far as parenting goes, I don’t overthink or sweat the small stuff. For instance, I know that there are parents who feel too much exposure to technology is not great for kids. I started navigating a smartphone in 2013 when I was just 15. Prior to that, I was clued in and used iPods and a Blackberry. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids using technology too young, as long as you monitor what and how they’re doing it. In fact, being able to tap into the digital world effectively is an important and underrated life skill according to me!”
In contrast, 36-year-old Harshita Patel from New Delhi didn’t allow her son to watch television until he turned 3, and handed him access to her phone under supervision only recently when he turned 9. Millennial mothers like her are also much less likely than Gen Z-ers to look for personalised digital experiences while shopping online for their kids, optimised design, time-saving apps and filters, and higher quality of both software and hardware. They came from a time of dial-ups and snail-paced internet connections (remember the screeching of the modem as it dialled away?) and remember MySpace and Orkut as their teenage hangouts.
Technology is just one bit of the divide. In 2016, J Walter Thompson conducted a survey, where they discovered that Gen Z has a lesser traditional view of sexuality. Only 48 per cent of Gen Z-ers identified as heterosexual, whereas 65 per cent of millennials did so. They’re more likely to be accepting of children who identify as non-binary or want to be in a same-sex relationship.
Millennial children in India were brought up by conventional parents who were set in their ways. As they came of age in the 90s and 00s, there wasn’t as much awareness of identity and inclusivity. Says Patel, “Growing up, I don’t think my own parents would have been fine if I’d wanted to come out as lesbian, or even identify as atheist. I’ve perhaps subconsciously imbibed some of these biases as a parent. Although I will continue to love my son no matter what, I would like him to tick certain boxes.”
On the other hand, Kurien-Sharma is a firm believer in accepting children for who they are, as opposed to who we would like them to be. “The first and foremost thing is to create a safe space for my child, where he’s able to come home to me and discuss anything that confuses him or makes him afraid and unhappy. If I can’t foster that environment, I’ve failed as a parent. I’m not that fussed about what religion he chooses to follow, or if he doesn’t opt for traditional milestones like college or marriage.”
She also goes on to add that mental health is very important. “As someone who has seen a lot of my peers being bogged down with depression and other mental health issues, I would like to make sure that my child always gets the help that he needs in this regard. I think discussing issues and emotions upfront and openly could really help, rather than brushing them under the carpet. My husband and I try to be the best authentic selves we can, in front of our child, rather than setting ourselves up as examples of behaviour that needs to be emulated. Also, we are a traditional family structure purely by chance, but I’d like to explain to him that this is not the norm.”
According to a survey conducted by VICE, 73 per cent of Gen Z-ers say that becoming a parent enhances who you already are as a parent, with only 35 per cent citing loss of identity. This is yet another shift from millennial mothers to Gen Z mothers. The former is more likely to feel the ‘mom guilt’ and immerse themselves more thoroughly into motherhood, losing their sense of self. Gen Z mothers on the other hand thrive on being individuals first, and parents next. They multi-task more than millennials and need personal fulfilment as well.
Generation Z is perhaps the first to grow up with threats such as global warming, climate change, endangered species, and a crumbling ecosystem. They’re more purpose-driven than millennials and are likely to transmit these traits consciously to their children. “Although financial security is important, I also need to find purpose in the work that I do. As a designer, a large part of my role is to create sustainable alternatives to traditional products – both in terms of design as well as material. The satisfaction is unparalleled and this idea is something I want to inculcate in my child as well. The best way to do it is to lead by example.”
Since the first set of Gen Z-ers with children is still quite young, they’re also more adventurous and likely to go with the unexpected. These mothers are flexible and adapt to change more effortlessly. It is only after 2025 that some of them start having children in their 30s. Whether these easygoing traits will stand the test of time, still remains to be seen.