Nobody enters marriage with the intention of parting ways with their partner. In fact, when we get married, we do so with so many hopes and dreams of the future. From long-term dreams to short-term goalswe have it all gleaming in our heads. We discuss when wed like to have kids, we share our financial goals as a couple, and maybe put our dream vacation on the list too. As a married couple, we build a life and our families together and expect it to last forever. Divorce comes as a strike that changes everything.Honestly, in a situation in which your friend is going through a divorce, it becomes a little complex for you. This is in the sense you feel confused about how to contribute to her healing. Should you give her space? Should you be more involved? How much should you talk to her? Is your advice unsolicited? You dont want to make things worse, so you are careful of the way you show her that you care.A friend of mine is going through a separation from her husband, though they havent made up their mind in terms of whether they want a divorce. It is so disheartening to see her containing all that anxiety in her. I wasnt equipped with the knowledge of supporting a friend through it but I believe I learnt through experience, and it turns out to be going well for her.So, if you are in a similar situation and would want to be there for your friend in this delicate situation, heres how you can do it.1) Listen but do not give adviceI am biased towards my friend, so when she would tell me of her issues with her husband, its obvious whose side Id be on. But I wouldnt want to influence her with my sentimental bias and advice. Every couple has to decide for themselves as only those people know what truly happens between them. So, whether your friend is considering divorce, going through it or just got one, refrain from offering relationship advice. Instead, hear her out. Listen to her rants, to her several trips down the memory lane, and all thatwithout interruption or judgement.2) Offer your support beyond the pep talkPep talk is great and useful without a doubt, but a friend going through a divorce would probably need much more from you. Theres a sudden void now, where their partner used to be. You can help them start afresh with whatever they need: a new place to stay, new bank accounts, a new social circle, and more. This transition can be even more difficult if your friend has been in a co-dependent marriage. So, you can help her ease into the change, but also encourage her to be more independent.3) Keep them occupied, especially on holidaysHolidays are the worst times to be single, and they feel even more depressing after a divorce. As a couple, you share memories of these festivals, and then one year, you find yourself alone, staring at a window, and not knowing how to fill that void. Invite your friend to celebrate festivals with you so they dont feel lonely. In fact, since a couple often socialises together, they may be a little lonely in that department too. In that case, you should check on them and plan things together so they dont withdraw into a shell of social reclusion.4) But understand when they need spaceSome of us really need space to heal. For us, healing is an internal process that involves introspection, and we can do that in our own company. Your friend needs that space too, so let them know that you intend to be there for them as well as give them space. They can just let you know whatever they need from you. If they arent verbally expressive, you will have to use your own judgement.1) Intervene if you see them indulging in self-sabotageSeveral people can indulge in self-harm or damaging behaviours after a traumatic episode in their life. A divorce qualifies as a traumatic experience. In fact, researchers say that more than divorce, it is the phase that leads to it that is painful. So, your friend has been under stress and anxiety for a long time. If you notice self-sabotage, be it life-threatening or them throwing their career awayintervene. Take them to a therapist and offer your support as much as you can.