“We expect women to work like they don’t have children, and raise children as if they don’t work.”
- Amy Westervelt, Forget Having It All
Let’s begin this story about working moms with a little dose of reality. You need oxygen, water and food to survive, it’s true. But you also need money to survive. Even a few decades back, a single source of income—usually male—could be enough to run a nuclear family unit. But not anymore. Blame the global economy or inflation and a universal rise in costs of living, especially in big cities which offer more jobs than others, but the fact is that without working moms, many of us wouldn’t be able to achieve what we have simply for the lack of sufficient funds.
And this is also because apart from earning money, working mothers also create networks of support beyond the family and community. Women who have a career also tend to have a greater sense of financial freedom, and tend to inculcate the same values in their children. This not only makes working moms a critical part of the labour force, but also the primary trainers of the future labour force.
Yet, there are plenty of challenges every working mom faces every single day, which makes her function as both a mother and a worker more difficult. Here’s what you should know.
Who Is A Working Mother?
Most of us today know a working mother, but do we ever pause to think who she is? A 2009 study in the peer-reviewed mental and physical medicine journal, Mens Sana Monographs, defines a working mother as a woman who has the “ability to combine a career with the added responsibility of raising a child.” While this is a broad definition, the study goes on to specify two different categories of working mothers who play an equally important role:
• The stay-at-home mother who works from home and manages both maternal and workplace duties
• The mother who works away from home while managing to fulfil her maternal duties
The same study also explains that all over the world, governments and agencies are working to recognise and meet the specific needs of working mothers specifically because they form a crucial part of every nation’s labour force, and have a huge role in building a better future. For example, in the USA, the Department of Labour recognises the needs of working parents through their Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993. The Government of Australia also highlights the issues, obstacles and barriers working mothers face through its Better Health Channel for public awareness. In Asian countries like India, the study points out, the joint family system where grandparents and non-working family members also reside under the same roof, caring for children of working mothers becomes a little easier. Not only that, women from such families often also feel more supported while performing the dual role they have.
Working Moms In India
However, as a nation, India has been unable to increase the rate of women participating in the workforce, whether formally or informally. According to estimates released by the World Bank, India has one of the lowest female labour force participation rates in the world, with less than a third of women aged 15 years or older working or actively looking for a job. The female labour force participation rate, as per their report, fell from 26 per cent in 2005 to 20.3 per cent in 2019—and this is before the COVID-19 pandemic and the devastating effects it has had on the international female labour force.
In a Reuters report released in August 2021, it’s revealed that as per the Indian Ministry of Statistics, the female labour force participation rate in India fell to 15.5 per cent in the April-June 2020 quarter—the duration of the strictest lockdown in India—and to 16.1 per cent during July-September 2020. According to LinkedIn’s Workforce Confidence Index survey of 2020, a staggering 47 per cent of women felt the pandemic had increased the burden of stress and anxiety, especially among working mothers. Around 38 per cent of men living with their families and children in the survey also felt the same.
The survey further showed that one in every three Indian working mothers (that comes to around 31 per cent), and one in every five working fathers, had a significant increase in stress and anxiety because they were providing full-time childcare while working from home during the pandemic. All this data clearly shows that concerted efforts to ease the burden on working mothers (and fathers) is necessary if the Indian economy is to jump back and rebuild better in the post-pandemic world. Both the government and companies need to bring working mothers back into the labour force to help the economy revitalise, especially if we are to increase the female labour force participation rate.
Benefits Of Being A Working Mom
To this end, it’s important to understand what the benefits of being a working mom are. The following are some recognised benefits you should consider when you’re thinking of rejoining the workforce after maternity.
Working moms are positive role models
Whether you’re a stay-at-home working mom running her own business or one who’s stepping out every day to reach a workplace, working moms are positive role models for their children. Children, both boys and girls, of working mothers realise from an early age that a woman and a mother is not just someone engaged in domestic work and chores but someone whose labour is paid and valuable. This education helps them when they start their own families, yes, but it also brings a lot of appreciation for the working mom herself.
Working moms raise more independent kids
Children of working mothers learn to be more independent sooner in life—and this is a fact. From learning how to cook small meals for themselves to heating up food or starting their homework by themselves, these kids sure become more self-assured. They also learn how to manage the world more safely as they may be left home alone during the day, with or without a caretaker or nanny. This serves them well because they are better prepared to be independent throughout their lives.
Working moms are realistic parents
As a professional juggling the demands of the world, a working mom understands that even if you set out to do it all, there’s a certain limit to what’s realistically achievable. They realise that being a helicopter parent who pays extra-close scrutiny to a child’s every performance isn’t possible, and it further sets a perfectionism trap for them in the future. Instead, they set realistic goals on how to juggle both the demands of work and home efficiently, while also coping with the stresses and reaping the benefits each of these areas provide.
Working moms value quality time with kids
Working mothers know that unlike other workers, they can’t always bring their work home because they have to meet their children’s needs. So, they know how to switch off the distractions and actually pay attention to what their kid, no matter how young or old, is saying or experiencing. This leads to better quality time spent with their kids, strengthening a bond that’s anyways meant to be lifelong.
Working moms get to take a break
Working women who aren’t mothers are usually expected to be more involved with the workplace. Full-time mothers and homemakers are usually expected to meet all the needs a child has at home. Both, because they are confined to one world, therefore tend to lead a more limiting life. Working moms, though juggling the pressures of both work and home, tend to get a break from both the worlds they live in. This is definitely a plus for their mental health.
Working moms’ families have more financial security
It’s a well-known fact that women are more cautious with money than men, and so, working moms tend to convert this intuitive aspect of money management into financial security for the entire family. Whether it’s about taking a home loan or an education loan, working moms are capable of financing it all. Personally for them, financial freedom and security also aids their mental health, especially during middle age and later in life.
Challenges Faced By A Working Mom
There are many challenges a working mother faces, and these could be both at work and at home. Here are a few barriers working moms face at work, and a few they may face at home too.
Working moms may feel they’re not doing enough
Women, even in this day and age, are brought up being told that whether they work or not, they have to make their children and family a big priority. This conditions them from a young age that childcare is a top priority. And yet, the professional space can be quite demanding too. This can make a working mom feel that while she’s spending a lot of time at work, she’s not doing enough for her kids at home. And when they’re at home, they might feel that they are not doing enough at work. This conflict is pretty common and constant for working mothers.
Working moms may face more barriers at work
While most employees are expected to finish their work efficiently within the working hours, depending on the field, working extra hours or being active or available for most hours is also often an expectation at work. For working mothers, this can pose more of a problem because they have to also look after childcare needs. Another common issue is that if a woman takes a few years off to focus on her children, this amounts to a career break—which can be very difficult to come back from without proper upskilling and guidance.
Working moms may have limitations
There is a reason why, even a few decades back, teaching and banking were the only two sectors which had working mothers. These jobs have fixed day hours and don’t require much travel. Since caring for children is a necessity for working mothers, night shifts, long working hours, and jobs that require too much travel can become an issue—which sets a limitation to the kinds of jobs working mothers can or cannot take up.
Working moms may be more stressed about safety
Since leaving your kids at home is a necessity for working mothers, many tend to worry incessantly about their child’s safety. Unless one lives in a joint family setup, or has reliable help or childcare providers at home or nearby, this stress about safety—especially in this day and age—can lead to a huge mental load.
Working moms may have more difficulty taking time off
While all workplaces offer leaves to employees, working mothers often require more because they have children to care for at home. While other employees may take leaves for personal health or activities only, an emergency with her child can cause a working mother to take leaves which are personal on paper, but aren’t dedicated to self-care. This often leaves working mothers working through their own health problems without leaves.
Working moms are expected to be superwomen
You have to focus on your family and your work and everything that lies in between and beyond. This extent of pressure to be present at all times, to be a superwoman, can take a huge toll on a working mother’s mental and physical health. Often, the pressure of society dictates that if you fail to be a part of both work and home equally then you’re not doing it right. This also add a huge amount of self-doubt and guilt among working mothers.
Working moms may face burnout more often
Because they are stretched thin and have to juggle the demands of two distinct worlds, working mothers live under a lot of pressure. Often, the scrutiny they receive from society is also immense. This often leads to burnout—often professionally, occasionally at home as well. The problem is, since they have to pay attention to two spheres of life, their own needs can often get left behind and overlooked, which can make the burnout more intense and prolonged.
Time-Management Tips For The Working Mom
If there is one thing a working mom feels the need of the most, it’s time to do it all. But that’s the key fact every working mom has to remember: we all have 24 hours in a day which cannot be stretched further, and if you stretch yourself too thin, then the repercussions could be more negative than positive. So, here are a few time management tips that every working mom should take to heart.
1. Use your time of commute to get more work done without compromising on quality time with your family.
2. Learn to deliberate over your “yes” and “no”. You may not have the same priorities as others, so be clear about placing your boundaries both at work and at home.
3. Be clear about your working hours. While working extra hours a few days may not be a stretch, ensure that this doesn’t become a regular affair, as it will only increase your stress about your home and kids.
4. Set a realistic daily to-do list and focus on getting those done. The world might expect you to do it all, but know that your body and mind has limits too, and respect those.
5. Don’t try to multitask too much. While people assume women are good multitaskers, it’s because we are pushed to do it all. Don’t fall into that trap, and focus on getting one job get done right at a time.
6. Don’t set up perfectionism traps for yourself and avoid those set by others too. Perfection takes way too much time and yet people may never be satisfied, so it’s best not to cater to a need that is clearly irrational. Instead, focus on doing every job to the best of your ability, and not beyond it.
7. Focus on relaxing every few hours, even if it’s for half an hour or 10 minutes. People who are stressed are not productive, so take some time to walk, read, meditate or listen to music to feel refreshed.
8. Don’t ever compromise on your sleep. While it’s true you might get more work done if you don’t sleep, the long-term effect of a sleep debt can be immensely negative and affect those around you as well.
9. Stick to your share of the responsibilities, whether it’s at work or at home. Don’t go saying “I’ll do it myself” when other people with other responsibilities lay it at your door. You are a human and your energy and time is just as finite as other people’s.
How Companies Can Support Working Moms
Your employee is your asset, so if you run a company and are focused on creating a diverse and inclusive workforce, know that you will have to employ women who are already mothers or may choose to be one, one day. This is not a negative in the long run, because even though they may require their needs to be met properly, they can bring a lot of value, exposure, experience, care and wisdom to the table—all features that make for an ideal employee. Here are a few things every company can do to ensure that the working moms on their roster feel supported:
• Provide flexible work timings and even the option of work-from-home. The pandemic has shown that people can accomplish a lot while working from home, so if a working mom needs to pay attention to work while managing an emergency at home, give her the option to do so.
• Provide extra benefits that can make your workplace more appealing for working mothers. Apart from paid sick leaves, child health insurance and programmes like “bring your kid to work week” can also help.
• Keep the line of communication open with working mothers, so that their changing needs can be discussed with supervisors and human resources as well as the management.
• Stick to her boundaries and avoid sending work across beyond working hours.
• Don’t compromise on your maternity and paternity leave policies. These ensure that your workforce is invested in you because you are invested in them leading a good life.
• Create a safe space for the working mother where empathy, compassion and mutual support can be developed between the employees and the management.
• Create policy changes that fit well with your company’s agenda and the life goals of working mothers. For example, if investing in a crèche or daycare facility can help alleviate your employee’s pressures, it will only increase your productivity.
• Create mentorship and upskilling programmes for new moms who are returning to the workplace.
How The Family Can Celebrate Working Moms
The working mother lives in two separate but equally crucial spheres, and one of them is the home. If she isn’t supported while at home, it will impact her own health and her performance both at work and at home. She is an earning member of the family who is trying to do her best for the entire family unit, whether it’s nuclear or joint. Here are some steps you can take at home to make her feel supported and celebrated:
• Divide and conquer household responsibilities. If there are tasks you can do better than the working mom, no matter how menial, do it so she can have some reprieve.
• Be consistent with your support and love. Getting her flowers on Mother’s Day is great, but if you could show 10 minutes of support every day, that would go a long way in making her feel supported.
• Ask her about her health, honestly. Mothers in general, and working moms especially, tend to overlook their own health problems—especially mental health ones—until the problem has become too big to ignore and too complicated. Prevent that by asking after their health.
• Create an atmosphere at home where the working mother isn’t constantly feeling the pressure to perform. You are the ones closest to her, so protect her from the unnecessary judgements and demands the world and society may have by standing up for her.
• Set a good example in front of the kids by refraining from any language or acts that indicate they are less than or not as good as any other woman or mother around you. A working mother may not be a superwoman, but every mother is a superhero in their children’s eyes. She deserves that respect to be maintained.
• Involve the kids and give them small but significant responsibilities that can help out the working mother, while also teaching them to be more independent. Small chores around the house, like dusting, cleaning their own rooms, heating up meals for the family, doing their own homework without being reminded, etc are small beginnings that can be of a big help later in life for both working parents and the kids themselves.
• Putting three square meals on the table, every day, is no mean feat. If you can help the working mother prepare a meal plan or help her with meal prep, do that. It will certainly take some load off.
Also Read: 10 Tips To Help You Meal Prep