#DitchTheDoubleStandards: 10 Things To Stop Saying To Women

“Is it that time of the month?” This simple question sets off all the red flag alert systems in my head because I know that men obviously don’t have to deal with these enquiries when they’re having a bad day. Some questions that are directed towards women have the capacity to set us off, especially seemingly innocent ones that can be super offensive. To prevent you and others from making any ‘well-meaning’ and ‘subtle-yet-sly’ comments, we’ve put together a list of things you should never say to women.

“What happened? You look tired”

Most people ask this out of genuine concern but it is often unnecessary. We’re trying to do a bunch of things at once–work, have a life, have dreams and try to achieve them. Asking someone why they look tired kind of sends home the idea that the way you look is more important than all your accomplishments.

Stop asking women if they’re going to change their last names after marriage

Never was your business, and never will be. The act of changing your last name to your husband’s dates back to seriously patriarchal times when women were considered to be their father’s property and then, their husbands. Let the choice be what it is, a choice.

Stop looking down on homemakers or asking them what they do

If homemakers stopped doing everything they do for us, the world and our homes would be a mess. It is literally the most thankless job and just because women choose to not go out and earn a living in an entrepreneurial or corporate setting doesn’t mean they don’t work.

Don’t ask young girls their marriage plans

Don’t instil it in them that marriage is the ultimate goal they need to achieve in life. Let them grow up in a world where they are free to do what they want, when they want, without any pressure to find a partner. They’re whole and complete on their own, without a ‘better half’.

Stop telling women they’re different from others

Everyone is unique in their own way and you definitely don’t need to bring other girls down in order to compliment us. Stop dividing women into categories and most certainly stop making us feel like we are competing with others!

“You don’t need to wear make-up. You look better without it!”

Okay…but I want to? Women don’t necessarily wear make-up to cover up or hide their ‘flaws,’ some of us just enjoy it! Wearing make-up is a choice and it is entirely yours. You can be a feminist and choose to wear make-up or be one and not wear any.

“You’re not sitting/behaving like a lady”

No rule book states the way a lady should and shouldn’t behave in 2022. How about we just let people do their thing?

“Just chill. Don’t be dramatic.”

It feels like you’re asking someone to not be open about how they’re feeling. Surprise surprise, women can feel angry, upset and downright emotional about things even when they’re not PMSing. And no, it isn’t dramatic. It is valid and alright.

“You look so cute when you’re mad”

Imagine all your negative feelings being reduced to ‘cute’? Would you say the same thing to a man who has expressed his opinions about something that seriously bothers him or weighs on his mind?