Sexual Satisfaction Is Key To A Happy Marriage, According To A Study

When it comes to sex, our society conveniently dismisses it as something that is not a fundamental need; It is rare to hear people, especially women, admit that sexual intimacy is an integral part of their checklist because of the stigma attached to it. So when someone asked me, if I’d be open to marrying someone with whom I share poor physical chemistry, I said no. However, I wasn’t surprised by the person calling me shallow. But here’s the thing, sexual satisfaction is vital for marital satisfaction—and we have science backing this school of thought.

A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships explores the link between sexual satisfaction and other factors that affect marital bliss, such as conflict resolution quality, forgiveness, and anxious and avoidant attachment.

Sex and feelings go hand in hand

The researchers analysed the relationship of 2,114 couples and observed that the way they feel about their connection, has a strong impact on their time between the sheets. Couples who reported that they fought fair and mutually came to an understanding after a conflict, also said their sexual connection strengthened their relationship.

Healthy conflict resolution demonstrates your ability to be emotionally intelligent and mindful of your partner’s feelings. It makes your partner feel valued and seen. Would you want to plant sweet kisses on them if you’re feeling that your needs are not being taken into account? I wouldn’t.

Similarly, partners who were forgiving experienced more sexual bliss. As did people were more securely attached. It is evident from these findings that the way you feel in your marriage is strongly linked to your sexual satisfaction.

“Specifically in our study, we found couples with higher levels of sexual satisfaction compared to couples with lower levels of sexual satisfaction tended to have better conflict resolution ability, be more forgiving, and know they could securely rely on their partner,” David B. Allsop of Dalhousie University, the co-author of the study was quoted by PsyPost.

Sexual afterglow and bonding

We know that physical touch gives us happy hormones and helps us bond. Also called the ‘cuddle hormone’, oxytocin helps relieve anxiety and improves the connection in your marriage. It aids a more secure attachment style, improves empathy and reduces stress. But did you know that its afterglow remains days after you’ve had sex?

According to science, the sexual afterglow remains for 48 hours and improves the bonding between couples. In fact, couples who experience a stronger sexual afterglow report better marital satisfaction, even four to five months later.

How to improve sexual satisfaction in marriage

It’s not rocket science to be able to connect physically with your partner. Yet, sexual intimacy often declines in marriages, as routine and other aspects of your relationship takes over. Here are a few quick tips to help improve your physical satisfaction.

1) Communicate about your needs and make a practice of sharing feedback post-sex. It may seem too streamlined and less organic by the sound of it but it really is not. It will help you both be more aware of each other’s sexual needs, as well as make you feel closer.

2) Schedule sex. Again, it may seem less organic but sometimes, our life gets so busy that we dismiss intimacy for other things. But scheduling sex has many benefits. You can plan your day better and the anticipation will put you in the mood.

3) Resolve conflicts and don’t hold grudges. There’s no better libido-killer than secretly resenting your partner, long after the fight is over.

4) Experts say expressing gratitude brings you closer and makes you feel more affectionate towards your partner, improving your relationship and your sex life significantly.

5) Go on a sexcation. It’s okay if you don’t have sex often but when you do, it should be blissful and of good quality. Bad sex, according to experts, puts you off coitus.

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