There is no doubt that parenthood is fulfilling. Nurturing your children and watching them grow is a rewarding experience.. That said, as parents, there’s always be that added concern or worry about whether your children are doing well, have everything they need, can stand up for themselves, are safe whenever you’re not around. While all concerns are valid, how much is too much? Are you just actively involved in your children’s lives or are you smothering them?
Here are five undeniable signs that you’re a helicopter parent, and advice on how to steer clear of all the hovering:
You Always Fight Your Child’s Battles
It’s understandable for that mama bear to come out when you notice your child is being hurt or struggling. And while it’s okay to step in when you can see that things are about to get out of hand, when you constantly step in to fight for your child, chances are, s/he will never learn to stand up for herself/himself. Instead, be that much-needed support system, and hear your child out before stepping in to fix the problem. Talk it out and advice your child on appropriate steps, and let them attempt to handle the problem on their own.
You Coach The Teachers
You can’t wait for those PTA meets so you can tell the teacher what s/he is doing wrong when it comes to your child’s education. While we understand that you’re coming from a place of concern, don’t teach the teachers. They’re there for a reason. Besides, when in a classroom or even playing a sport, your child is learning important life lessons like conflict resolution, working towards a goal, coping with defeat or competition, and growing as a well-rounded individual. Instead, offer help only when your child reaches out to you; moreover, teach your child how to ask the right questions to the teacher, and respect the teacher for what s/he brings to the table.
Your Keep Your Child On A Short Leash
If you constantly find yourself volunteering to chaperone school dances, meets, birthday parties or any social gathering your child may be invited to, you’re not allowing him/her room to be himself/herself. Your child is bound to be on his or her best behaviour when you are around, and rebel the moment you aren’t. You need to give him/her a chance to be independent. Remember, you’ve taught your child right, so allow him/her to make mistakes and learn from them.
You’re Constantly Picking Up After Your Child
Yes, it pays to be neat and tidy, but your children will grow to keep taking things for granted because they know you’re going to finish the chores yourself anyway. Moreover, if you’re out for a business trip, your house is most likely going to be a mess upon your return. Instead, set daily tasks or chores for them to pitch in and help around the house. Whether it’s washing the dishes, the clothes, dusting, or cooking, allowing them to clean up after themselves will teach them to appreciate and maintain the things they have.
You Play It Too Safe
Are you so focussed on your child’s safety that you barely let them move without you keeping an eye on them? Is ‘Don’t climb up there’, ‘Watch where you’re stepping’, or ‘Don’t touch that’ there worst words out of your mouth every time your child wants to go out and explore? Then there’s a good chance you’re playing it too safe. Instead, take a step back and remember that the goal is to keep your child as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible. Let them go out and have fun, and skin their knees if they have to. All this becomes a vital aspect of a healthy and happy childhood, ones that will shape them into the adults you hope they become.